Just another laundry night at The Homestead...

    So this thought occurred to me whilst (literally) sprinting up the stairs from throwing a load of laundry in... I need to share how my random thoughts, mindset and life come from... besides ADD. Maybe it would explain to some why I'm just completely odd, don't exactly fit in anywhere or why I occasionally just crack up in the weirdest settings.

Short back story: I live in an old farmhouse that sat (or "set" if you live in SE Iowa like myself) for many years. I've heard it was empty for 6-8 years so kids got used to "parking" here, but how long it sat empty is still a mystery. It's the last (and only) house on the left down a 1/4 mile dead end lane on a 280 acre farm. My closest neighbor is probably a 1/2 mile away and with the corn as tall as it is, I can't even see another house light in any direction for months. To the North and East, it's miles before there is another house, just corn, soybeans and timber ("woods" if you're from out West). It's just me and the dogs out here and I prefer it that way. My friends know I need a call or text before you come out to visit me after dark. You don't just "drop by" on me, otherwise you'll be greeted with: me with a scatter gun, Angus the over-friendly 120lb Great Dane and Finnegan the over-zealous cow dog. Me greeting you with my favorite shotgun comes with the territory, I'm a single gal that lives in the middle of a cornfield and the dogs just come with the territory. Also, I've had creepers. You're gonna get creepers. That being said, I feel safer living out here in the country then I ever did living in town.
    This lifestyle of solitude has brought me soo many boughts of laughter... you know that saying "Dance As If Nobody is Watching, yada yada yada"? Well, nobody is watching, so I dance. And I laugh. And I sing. A LOT.

    I've dubbed my basement "The Rape Basement" and if you're reading this, you already know I have an awkward sense of humor. It's just plain creepy and that's not due to the three, 3'+ bull snakes that have been pulled out of there since I've lived here. And HUGE spiders that weren't there from the time I started the dryer to when I turned around. It's dark, dingy and there's random stuff left over from past tenants: "Creepy Crawlers of the Dark" VHS tapes, a porcelain rearing horse, a 60's era fridge with the insulation drug out of it, a in the wall going back a dungeon like area and my favorite, a Nintendo Duck Hunt gun with the cord cut off. The Rape Basement is where my washer and dryer are, so that's the only reason I go down there.

    Every time I go to leave the basement, I feel like Kevin from Home Alone. (And then I just laughed aloud thinking about the part in the movie where his Mom is on the flight and realizes she forgot him and yells "KEVIN!!!!") Anyways, not trying to sound like a hardass, but I'm not afraid of anything. There are things that creep me out, but there's nothing that I'm truly afraid of that will keep me from anything. It's a good, yet probably stupid way to live I've come to realize. C'mon, at 20 years old I picked up a hitchhiker carrying a gun on his back on a snowy Montana pass... sorry, Mom.
   Alright, back at 'er... I start up the basement stairs and I COULD NOT stop myself from sprinting up them and today, I did something that surprised even myself... I THREW A 'BOW. Like I was going to catch a Zach (Zombie, not Morris) in the face, I THREW AN ELBOW, WHILST SPRINTING up my basement stairs. I mean, c'mon, my angle would have been terribly off for a face blow, but there was no thought put in it, I just did it. Complete impulsive reaction that I didn't know I had, just like the time in Middle School when Sarah Gavin scared me and I immediately dropped into a Karate position... I took 3 Karate lessons in 2nd grade. Oh yeah, I also have an infatuation with "Zombie Attack Scenarios" that I play out in my head. That would probably be good information to have, if you do not know that about me.

    So I got to the top of the stairs, looked down the empty stairwell and just cracked up. I think this is the reason I love to live alone so much... I'm my own best company. As Paramore says "Nothing compares to, a quiet evening alone".  Yep. I just quoted Paramore. Suck it.